All because, like all sane people, I can easily tell the difference between radicalised murderers and innocent muslims.
I tried to defend myself, but he resorted to more personal abuse – including jabs at my career – and posted some utterly disgusting comments about muslims that I still can’t quite believe I had to read. I can’t bring myself to write them here.
I have to admit that I lost my temper, and responded by using some very bad language indeed. I’m truly sorry to everyone who had to read my comments. It’s really not like me at all. I’m a writer; I love words and understand their power. As such, I rarely resort to profanities. But his comments hit me harder than I thought possible. I’ve barely slept all night, my mind racing, and I’ve been up since just after 3.30am.
I’m ashamed to admit this (but I will, you know me), last night I was reduced to tears.
More than once.
I’m very depressed at the moment. On medication and receiving counselling. I feel like I’m at the bottom of a well and unable to climb out. It’s as if, in addition to my cancer, the chemo and radiotherapy targeted my spirit as well.
This is going to sound like a whine, but I have very little quality of life right now. Aside from a few mouthfuls of soup or mashed potato, I haven’t eaten in over a year. I still can’t speak properly. I’m constantly exhausted, and so weak I struggle to go upstairs in my own home.
On several occasions, I haven’t seen the point of going on.
But, you know what? I WILL go on!
I’m going to fight this as hard as I fought my cancer. I won’t give in to my depression.
That’s just what it wants.
If my Mum was here, she would tell me to “get my bounce back”.
I will, Mum! I promise. x
I have a beautiful, loving wife, two wonderful sons, and an amazing extended family in my incredible brother and sister, their families and all my cousins, aunts and uncles.
I also have a LOT of supportive friends, and even supportive strangers. So many people have contacted me to enquire if I’m OK after last night’s nonsense.
I am OK. I’m BETTER than OK.
I WILL NOT let some low-life racist moron push me down so far that I can’t get back up again.
I REFUSE to let him affect me in that way.
Last night was simply the last resort. The straw that broke the camel’s back. Everything from the past year and a half came flooding back, and I lost it.
It was bound to happen, sooner or later.
But, it’s only served to make me more determined than ever to beat my illnesses – both physical and mental.
Tommy Donbavand giving up? You’re having a laugh!